Christmas Shortages & Panic Buying!

The media (that’s BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Wales Online and all the newspapers) keep telling us there will be shortages at Christmas and that the UK is running out of stuff.

The result – people panic buy.

OK, let’s look at the so-called shortages and doomsday predictions of a lean Christmas in a little bit more detail and with a slightly more reasoned approach than the sensationalist British media.

  • Petrol

There isn’t a shortage, never was, BP and Shell shares are still going up…  Anyway, aren’t we supposed to be cutting down on burning fossil fuels?  We could always walk a bit more?

  • Chocolates

I’ll be honest we usually buy a box of Roses or Quality Street for Christmas.  Maybe a box of After Eights too.  But by January we’re spotty, fat and lethargic after intaking so much sugar over the festive period.  So here’s a tip – why not just buy one box of chocs (or none at all) and help prevent diabetes.  Cutting back on sweets and chocolates means you don’t put too much weight on.  It also means you save money before Christmas and afterwards because you don’t need that gym membership to try to lose the weight you put on stuffing your face with caramel swirls and toffee fingers!  Obesity is a killer we are constantly being told.  So cut back on the sugar or you’ll end up looking like an American.

  • Pigs in blankets

This I find hilarious.  As if there aren’t any pigs in the UK?  And what’s in it for the pig anyway?  We all eat too much meat, we need to cut down / give up and become vegetarian to save the planet – just ask that truant with the pigtails, Greta.

  • Toys

We are told that 70% of our toys come from China.  Mmm?  OK, who started the global pandemic that killed millions of people?  Yep, China.  Who has amongst the worst human rights records in the world?  Yep, China again.  Who has a social credit system like Orwell’s 1984?  China again.  Who kills beautiful endangered species like elephants, pangolins, tigers, sharks, (it’s a long list btw)?  Who has the biggest population on the planet?  And we all know what the biggest threat to the planet is.  Nope, not climate change.  That has been going on for about 4.5 billion years and will continue long after our days – hot or cold, manmade or otherwise.  No, the biggest threat humanity faces is over-population.  Just look at China and India?

OK, I’m ranting, I’ll stop.  Back to toys.  Do we really need millions of tons of mostly plastic crap from China that’ll end up in landfill, poison our soil and/or pollute the oceans?  Why not buy some homemade, British toys this Christmas?

  • Trees

The woods are full of them but why would anyone want all those bloody pine needles on the carpet anyway?

  • Turkeys

Again. Not much in it for the poor bird.  Go veggie.  It’s easier than you think, you save money and help the planet.

  • Milk

Mmm?  OK, we have the cows, we have the farmers so not sure I understand the problem.  Anyway, we shouldn’t really drink too much milk, it’s great for fattening up baby calves but humans!?  Nah, better to start switching to Oat milk or Almond milk.

  • Shop deliveries etc.

Yes we have a shortage of HGV drivers, but we also have a DVLA strike. When they start processing the applications etc. that problem will slowly be eased. If people just buy what they need we’ll all be fine.

  • DIY

So what that Ikea is running out of chipboard.  If you want some nice furniture why not buy some old stuff?  Much better quality, quirky in style and better for the environment.

And lastly, don’t listen to the bloody media and don’t buy anything from China.  Happy Christmas 🙂


 

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