Well, judging by social media (remind me to delete all my accounts later) the world will now dissolve, the KKK will be riding pale horses through Treorchy town centre, my children will be eaten by Britain First, our NHS will catapult all the Filipino nurses back to Manila this weekend, the pound will become synonymous with the Weimar Republic, house prices will rise to ten million euros each for a mid-terrace in Cwmbach, Boris will finally reveal himself to be a lizard, the Queen will emigrate to an independent Scotland and mosques will be draped in bacon and set alight. Oh yeh, and worst of all Loose Women (‘television for stupid people’ for those that don’t know) may get cancelled to make way for the news – damn.
Well, thank Dawkins for that. I thought we were in trouble for a moment. Look, Wales will probably lose to New Zealand again and the footie team will still be heroes, even if they go out Saturday. So all is not lost. Cheer up, as Brian of Nazareth said. At least Corbyn is on his way out too. Maybe now we’ve got the ‘EU vote’ out of the way we can start on the real problem, a minority Tory government (just 24% of the UK voted for Cameron btw).
Before the vote I was sick to death of people lying (on both sides), sick of seeing Tories on the telly, sick of millionaires (journalists / business leaders / career politicians / ex-footballers / actors / celebrities) telling me how I should vote. I was also quite shocked that wonderful, caring, intelligent people I knew were turning into nasty, name-calling twats when faced with anyone who disagreed with them. Mmm? OK, I put it down to passion, nothing wrong with that, you’re forgiven.
Moving forward though, shouldn’t we be asking why poor, working class people voted for Brexit? For me it wasn’t because people had their intelligence chips removed it was just a way to stick two fingers up to the establishment. This was about class and wealth more than anything else. This was about inequality, unfairness and hopelessness. In Wales, it was the so-called ‘left-behind’ communities that voted out.
The Labour party, that has traditionally represented working people, have deserted us all long ago. Social mobility under Blair and Brown dropped to it’s lowest point ever in the UK. No-one cares about us, so I think people thought, ‘Right, I’m not going to care about you either.’
‘Wait, hang on… is that a burning cross outside my window?’ ‘Oh no, it’s alright, it’s just a London banker immolating himself.’
So let’s look at the actual doomsday scenarios I’ve been reading this morning. The pound has fallen. So? It’ll bounce back soon enough. How else will the rich get richer if they can’t speculate on currency fluctuations?
Oh yeh, house prices will crash. Great stuff! Youngsters might be able to afford one now. You know, those youngsters that are shouting and screaming for the genocide of ‘stupid old people’ because they can’t afford their own house, yet they spend a fortune every month on a mobile phone contract to post shit on social media, go to the pub, smoke, eat out, drive cars, go on gap years (from what I ask?), subscribe to Netflix and SKY TV instead of actually doing what older people did – save up for a deposit!
What about all the millions of job cuts that must come now? Well hang on, you can’t have it both ways, if EU nationals are sent packing we’ll have loads of jobs for people to do? But seriously, I doubt either will happen though. Maybe… just maybe, employers might just keep the good people, regardless of whether they eat beetroot soup or not.
What about the NHS, schools, council services? Will they just explode in a great big puff of smoke now that Boris has found a comb? ‘Oh yeh, I hope that austerity thing doesn’t stop now. I’ve got really used to it. How would we cope without cuddly George Osborne telling us we need to cancel our membership to Annabels because we’re all in this together?’
Btw, the happiest countries to live in are (in order) – Denmark, Switzerland, Iceland, Norway, Canada, Finland (#Fixit), Netherlands (#Nexit), New Zealand, Australia, Sweden (#Swexit). So, it kinda makes a mockery of all the so-called experts on our tellies telling the working class who voted for ‘out’ that they are idiots. And the arrogant, biased, pig-headed, absolutely disgusting BBC who dig up people to do vox pops about immigrants to peddle their nasty, racist, hate-filled agenda.
OK, rant over, time for a pint. ‘How much John?’ ‘Nine pounds fifty for a glass of Speckled Bollocks!’ We’ll see.